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Thursday, July 03, 2008
A Strong Intuition
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Osaka
No, I've never been here but I'm sure I'd enjoy it. Does one need to prick oneself to know it hurts? Every time I've stood in the garden adjacent, peered over the dividing fence, I have been made gloriously privy to the cozy-yet-ample size of the garden, the lustrous greenery and weird technologically advanced heat lamps. Every time I've opened my ears, I've heard the artfully tacky, wafting sounds of my favorite German Euro-trance dance band, Groove Coverage. Danke schön! Sometimes they even play the Backstreet Boys on repeat. Again, thank you. I have been told that though pricey, the rolls are quite dense, filled and complete with fish, vegetables, rice... and magic. Osaka: So close yet so far away. I have heard the sweet sounds, smelled the fresh fish, creepily stared at the buoyant customers from above the wooden plank fence. Osaka: I've smelled you long enough. I shall follow my pheromones and make you my own. |
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Magical Botanical
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La Dame Freda Botanica
Double, double, toil and trouble, go to the Botanica to build a charm of powerful trouble. Okay, so maybe it's not as intense as Shakespeare but you know someone's put roots on you! Or you need a love spell for that cutie who ain't givin' you the time of day. Freda's got all the eye of newts for a powerful stew. Crowded with candles, raw incenses, statues, coal, sage, lavender, cauldrons, and even special mixes to draw money or ward off evil onlookers. You're bound to find something that works. Even the traditional religious paraphernalia of white candles, rosaries and crosses are available. Don't be too shy to ask for suggestions, counseling or potions. |
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Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Pre-BAM Rack of Lamb
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Cafe Lafayette
Cafe Lafayette isn't actually as dark and small as the crappy picture might indicate. Almost, but not quite. It's got like four tables, plus two small tables outside (which are always set up for diners, even when it's ten degrees outside... utterly charming). "Intimate" may not be strong enough a word, but it will have to serve. But besides its cozy confines, it's got your standard French options, and like many other French restaurants in New York, those choices are good (quiche, Nicoise salad, mussels, etc.). But where in NYC can you beat rack of lamb for $15.95, my friend? You can't. Just go ahead and try. Also serving paninis for lunch and a damn fine burger with goat cheese, Cafe Lafayette pretty much has everything you need. Except space. But we don't have that in our apartments either, so who cares? |
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Monday, June 30, 2008
Best Bar in Brooklyn?
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Red Hook Bait & Tackle
Well, if it fucking isn't, it's fucking close. It's got the coolest fucking decor, a great fucking soundtrack, the most laid-back bartenders (who would never kick out any patron, no matter how fucking drunk, apparently, like the guy who was so bombed out of his gourd a few weeks ago at 6:30 pm on a Saturday and used the word "fuck" more than I can possible hope to do in the space of this review), stiff fucking drinks, fucking pinball, and will (hopefully) be a survivor of the Great Red Hook Post-Gentrification Crash, 2007. If it can hang around, it will no doubt be packed with hipster shitheads for Red Hook Gentrification II, 2009, so now's your window, gentlefolk of New York Fucking City. Sweet. |
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Good as Gone
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Rainbow Giftshop
The remarkable thing about the Rainbow Giftshop is not that it contains a fantabulous array of suspiciously bootleg-looking toys cluttering up the windows, nor that said toys seem to have one foot firmly planted in the 80s (Rubik's Cubes and Care Bears ahoy!). It's not that the teaser printed on the awning tempts you in with promises of a "happy discount," or that such an eclectically ramshackle place is still hanging in there on Smith Street's prime retail strip. No, the remarkable thing about the Rainbow Giftshop is the notice plastered on to the bottom of the door warning anyone who enters that they will be under video surveillance, presumably to ward off a rampant stream of 80s pop culture fetishists taking the afternoon off from updating their 80s pop culture blogs. It's great that mom and pop stores take pride in the wares they're peddling, but if anyone at the 84th Precinct has a record of shop-lifting at the Rainbow Giftshop in the last five years then they deserve a prize. Like a Pogo Ball. |
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Archived Radars |
Meaningful Voyages
If there's one thing Rebecca knows, it's needless, interminable perambulating. Possessions will be mugged, blood will be spilled. Still, Rebecca soldiers on--from her humble Polish hood to the western tip of Long Island; her heart asunder, her mind a-scattered. Come! Join Rebecca on this gut-wrenching journey through the heart of Brooklyn, but also the mind.
Archived Features...
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